Kategoriarkiv: Tanker

Tomorrow is V-day

Tomorrow at this time, my life might be destined for an end or my life will go on. I do not know. Tomorrow I will take the first shot of the vaccine against Covid-19.

Why has it taken so long for me to decide?

First of all, I am at the end of my life if I look at past male ancestors.

My father died aged 63. My great-grandfather died at the age of 48. Heart inflammation which over time weakened the entire system for it to shut down in the end.

There is not much left for me. I hope to spend the last few years doing the work I do now for Talentsoft in any capacity. I hope to live long enough to see my two children making their way in life. I hope for some quiet evenings relaxing together with my wife outside our home waiting for the inevitable but recent years have proven to me that nothing is certain.

Back in 2012 my education as Merkonom which at some sites is translated into english as bachelor of commerce was abolished by the Danish government. I, who back in 1986 decided to support my local community and not abandon my birthplace in the countryside, only had the option to study for Merkonom after I graduated from the Gymnasium. Should I have aimed at higher goals, I should have left my family and friends in Naestved and left for Copenhagen to live in tents like most new students do while they either find a room with some private person or are able to pay a bribe to enter some of the housing firms up there.

I had no knowledge about which kind of student grants I could get as a student. All the counselors at the school had spoken about finding a training position in a firm to learn a kind of trade and then study for the Merkonom title after work. So for a number of years, I worked daytime in Taastrup commuting for an hour and then returned to Naestved eating my dinner on the train and spent hours at the school in the evening.studying. It was not a lot of spare time I had but back then I only had like 30 m2 to live on. A single room where the kitchen was on one of the walls and small hallway with access to my private toilet. I prevailed and earned two titles in both accounting and IT.

It formed my career and it basically lasted until 2014 where my previous workplace Formula which was one of the largest printing companies shut down. Now I found myself without any merits as the Merkonom title no longer existed and the skills I had authorized with Microsoft Dynamic Business solutions XAL and C5 also on their way out as the systems used for ERP in Denmark.

I had to shift focus and I switched to the HR area where I took an entry position as customer care representative working for Talentsoft. Years later I transitioned into becoming a technical consultant. But it was back to scratch living off the leftovers from supermarkets as the globalized work means that an amount equal to unemployment benefits are seen as a good salary in other countries due to differences in living costs and tax-systems.

Then in 2016 my life took an even worse turn towards the worse. A van did not respect the signs and took an illegal turn hitting me while I was commuting 30 kilometers to my work (Public transport was too pricey for me, also taking my car to work had become out of reach for a person serving in my position.). I was wearing a helmet and it saved my life.

While I recovered from the short-term consequences of the accident, the long-term consequences haunt me today. My teeth in the left side of my mouth died from the inside. The Dentist School in Copenhagen did their best but then the Covid-19 pandemic came making visits to the school difficult. It hurts on some days, but I have learned to live with the pain without using medication.

I now sleep using a ventilator. It seems that the accident somehow damaged my throat area. Sadly it is a Philips ventilator which over time can cause cancer. Philips has recalled the ventilators but the doctors at the hospital do not have the money to replace the more than 30,000 ventilators being used all over Denmark, so I have to continue using an apparatus which potentially can damage my health. This fate I share with the other users of the same branch of ventilators.

If you are not from Denmark, you will wonder why a seemingly rich country like Denmark does not have the money. I do not know much about politics, but I do know that Denmark no longer has the money to treat all kinds of illnesses. Some say that it is caused by our increasing funding of the European Union after England’s Brexit. I do not know. I know that I am alive today and so far (I cross my fingers) I have no cancer as far as I know. I am lucky. Denmark cannot afford to buy Spinraza which children suffering from a specific illness need. Unlike me who just lingers along, they suffer real loss of quality of life.

So that is my life today. Partly restricted due to my own poor choices in the past, the development of our society which digitized our society making printed items obsolete, the globalization which means a low salary, the traffic accident where I am partly an invalid. So I had to think hard if I wanted to take the risk of taking a vaccine which had the potential to create heart inflammation which was the very cause of demise of many in my family.

I decided to take the vaccine despite this risk. So that is the reason tomorrow is V-day for me. A day marking the end for me or the day which allows me some movement in the last few years of my life in a world becoming more hostile towards unvaccinated people.

Today I will rest and build myself up for tomorrow. If things do not turn out good for me, at least I can look back to a hell of a ride. I wish you all a pleasant Sunday!

Ok. I am trying

In order to remain fit after my 2016 traffic accident, I am working out in a fitness center beside walking when possible instead of using my car. It has not been easy but I have started to put it into my schedule as an appointment so it becomes the norm.

As the figures tell. There is room for improvement

Looking back at 2019

Then we are here at again. I am surprised that the year went so far and yet amazed that I am sitting here being able to write you because it has not been a easy year.

There have been challenges work-related. There have been challenges with my health. There have been illness and death in my family.

In 2016 I hit a van which took an illegal right turn. I hit the side of the van with the left side of my head. I was wearing a helmet which properly saved my life.

I got a serious scar in my face, whiplash, hurt my back and broke a bone in my left arm.

A year and a half later the nerves in my teeth started to die. It was on the left side. The Dentist school in Copenhagen did a good job and saved them but it took a full year.

Today I am not able to drive many hours in my car. I get too tired due to problems with my neck.

I am in treatment for issues with my back.

But I am alive. Sadly that means that I no longer can function as consultant because I can not drive for long time and in Denmark public transport only works in major cities and some of my customers are located otherwhere. So I have to remain working with customer care from an office.

My mother suffered from cancer. It seems that she makes it through.

Two members of my household have an illness which sadly set a mark on the way a day can pass.

Two of my aunts passed away this year.

And there was a lot of stuff in my house which broke. I paid DKK 10,000 for new electricity.

2019 was not my year – That is as simple as I can say it.

So 2020 will be a question about surviving it. I will continue to struggle keeping my job, the kids struggle to make it through schooling and not losing more family in the process.

It is also really sad when looking at Denmark in general. More and more jobs leave our country to be located in country where people can settle with less. It is not necessary that my position should be located in Denmark and should it be relocated, I am out because I cannot leave my family behind to work abroad.

The economy will slow down, they say. I do not know if it will like in 2008, but I hope not.

I wish everyone a happy new year. Based on what 2019 was, it can only improve.